Manual Not Included

Fannin4

by Jim Fannin

Over thirty years ago, I remember driving home with my wife and newborn daughter from the hospital. It seems like yesterday. Days before I had purchased a new VCR (remember this?). It came with an operating manual with diagrams and detailed instructions. The hospital gave no such manual for my infant daughter. Now what do I do? Three decades later she is a grown, independent married woman with a child of her own (my grandson). Time flies. Trial and error helped us write the manual by ourselves. Do you raise your children like you were raised? Or do you do the opposite? Or is it a compromise? What should your vision be for your kids when they finally move away from the nest and start their own life? Independent? Good character? Responsible? Solid values? All of these?

Our children are only as good as what they think when we aren’t there.

I believe the single most important thing we can give our children is the ability to make positive decisions based on carefully gathered information. Solid decisions made especially in a crisis or moment of truth. Understanding the dynamic of risk and reward. Knowing that the next move they make under those conditions and circumstances will alter the outcome of the event. And they choose with wisdom. Will your child listen to their inner voice? It only speaks once. And it whispers. Will they dismiss it? Will they let reason take the reins? Will they not believe its all-knowing power? Do I get in that car? Do I go into that room? Do I walk down the alley? Do I say NO! Sometimes we need to let them fail so that lessons can be learned…especially at an early age. Too many times we won’t rock the boat because we don’t want to upset, hurt or even lose our “friend.” Forget friends. We are the Parents. The Coach. The Guide. It’s time to parent! Teach your children to think on their own. Let them fail (on the small, insignificant matters) if their decisions are wrong. And let them pay the consequences. Show them the power of the “inner voice.” Help them become decision makers of the highest order. And when they drive home from the hospital with their spouse and newborn, they’ll have a manual for raising their own.

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The library’s 1,000 Books Before Kindergarten Challenge is one of a few reading challenge programs offered in Clarendon Hills, where the Bailey family has lived for the past 2 1/2 years.
Kristin Bailey said she saw an ad about the 1,000 Books Before Kindergarten Challenge and decided it was a good fit for Owen.

“He’s always been really into books,” Bailey said. “He had a natural interest in books at nine months old. That’s when COVID started, and he didn’t get out much, so reading books to him worked out very well. He’s a naturally curious kid, and imagination-building is important. The reading allows him to learn and explore new things, and he really wants to learn to read now.”

Krista Devlin, the Clarendon Hills library’s youth services librarian, said there’s a specific reason The Friends of the Library-sponsored 1,000 Books Before Kindergarten Challenge was started in 2022.

“Reading aloud to a child is one of the best ways to help develop important early literacy skills, which will prepare them for kindergarten,” Devlin said. “It is also a great way to bond with your child and to encourage a love of reading.”

Devlin said Owen was the second child to reach the challenge of having 1,000 books read to him before starting kindergarten. He was awarded a certificate, a crown, and his picture was taken to recognize his accomplishment.

Bailey, who said she is “a big reader,” said her family usually goes to the library once a week. Reading three books each night to Owen, along with a book before nap time, is the household normal.

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